We Said No, To Ho Ho Ho! -Part 2

There are lots of voices that speak into our lives that challenge a biblical world view. As a parent and as a pastor I cannot block out every voice that speaks to my family and to my congregation nor should I but I have spent my life pointing out that God’s word contains truth and the truth of the Word is what will set us free. God’s word is the filter we should view the world through! Years ago I learned that all a stronghold is believing wrong information. When we take captive every thought and make it obedient to the word of God it produces right thinking that creates right actions. Our actions come from our thinking that’s why we have to be intentional about the voices we listen to and the actions we do, regardless of our age. When my children were small we limited the voices and the “traditions we planted in our children.” Just because a movie or TV show was animated or geared for children didn’t mean we allowed our children to feed on it.”

This led us to the big question what were we going to do about mythical traditions?

Julie and I both grew up in Christian households. Both of our families attended church on a regular basis. Our parents also told us both about the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. We also both grew up watching all the disney “fairytale movies and reading traditional children’s books. When Julie and I found out that our parents were really “Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy it affected us differently. Julie just kind of went along as long as her parents wanted to play the game. I felt betrayed. It also made me question was Jesus real too or did they make Him up too?

One thing Julie and I knew was we wanted to do whatever we could to help our kids know the difference between fiction and truth.

We decided to do something that might not have been popular but we felt it was what was right for us as a family. We chose to not tell them there was a tooth fairy, Daddy bought their teeth. Oh we still to this day give our kids Easter Baskets but they don’t come from Peter cottontail hopping down the bunny trail they come from Mom and Dad.

But the most controversial decision we ever made was to say say no to Ho Ho Ho!

We never told our girls their Christmas presents came from the north pole or that they where made by elves. We told them the stories as stories not as truth. The truth was their presents came from Mom and Dad with love bought with money Father God provided to us because He loves His kids and wants us to love ours. We told our children that Father God started the whole gift giving tradition by giving the first Christmas present His one and only son. I don’t think our girls could have been more excited about Christmas than they were growing up. They went to bed wondering what Mom and Dad were going to give them in the same way other kids were excited about presents from Santa. The funny thing that would happen was when adults would ask Yancy what Santa was going to bring her she would answer nothing. Those adults would look at use like we were the worst parents in the world. I’ll be honest with you at first I was guilty of being somewhat of a Santa basher. Some of you might have heard a song I wrote for an early Puppet Trax tape that said “Santa Claus never died for anybody’s sin and the Easter Bunny never rose again.” I remember walking through the mall around Christmas time and saw a mall Santa. I remember saying something about there he is the God of this world and I remember Yancy as a very little girl saying Dad it’s just a man in a suit like your gorilla suits. After that I just took a chill pill I had done what we wanted to do we had taught our girls the difference between truth and fantasy.

My kids loved Disney. They were big Snow White fans, Big Little Mermaid fans. They loved puppets all my full bodied costumes and clowns. They even have had their picture made with Santa. But more than anything my girls love Jesus. They love their parents and are very close to us. Although we are not perfect parents we have never told them a half truth, a white lie or fantasy story as a true story.

We Said No, To Ho Ho Ho!

Back in November of 1978, Julie and I began our lives together. It was a wonderful day, all the the kids in our children’s church were so excited about attending our wedding. I’ll never forget one little fellow name Zack asked us if he could go on our “Moon ride” with us. I told him he couldn’t and one day he would have his own “Moon ride.” (He thought when his parents said we were going on a honeymoon they said we were going on a moon ride) I had no idea all of the work involved in the two becoming one. You see although Julie and I both loved Jesus, our families, rock and roll and each other we soon found out we has come from two completely different parenting styles. As we began to talk about all of our differences the big desire of our hearts was to train our children based on God’s Word more than our own family and cultural traditions.

Several months ago I wrote an article here on my blog and in K! on “Developing A Biblical Word View in your Family” In that article I wrote:

“Just like the church needs a Biblical vision for reaching children so does the family. Have you ever asked God for what He wants for your family? I realized that God designed the family to put His word into future generations. If you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time. So if God gives us the desires of your hear what is your desire and goals for your children? For me I wanted our family to be close. I wanted them to love the Lord with all their heart and love the word. In fact I wanted them to love the Bible so much that it was what they based every choice in their life on. “

Julie and I believed the Bible was and still is the benchmark of how we should view the world and how we live. The Bible tells us we are in the world but we are not of the world. The Bible also tells us to come out of the world and be separate yet we are told to be salt and light to the world. Over the years I have studied families and the different way they parent. I’ve also studied churches and the different way they do church. To me the families and churches who have the greatest success are the ones who have teamed together to join their forces to develop in individuals a biblical view of how to live 24/7.  I have had the wonderful honor of raising two wonderful daughters. They are both successful not only in business but also in their spiritual walk.  My girls are as different as night and day, if I had not been in the delivery room with both of them I would not believe they were kin. I have had to discipline them differently, I have to communicate and instruct them differently. But when it comes down to making choices and how to live it was the same for them as it was for their mother and I and that was what does the Bible say?

Cultivating a Heart that Cares About Others-Part 5

11.  Know when to call in a manager or coordinator. When people are angry,

When you’ve tried every solution possible and they’re just not getting it.

When you don’t have the authority to provide the solution that needed.

When you don’t know exactly what to do and when those above you need to know.

12.  Thank kids and parents for attending. Say things like, “I can’t wait to see you next week! Thanks for bringing your child. Tell children, I’m sure glad you were here today. One of my favorite things to say to others is I had fun teaching you today! Always go out of your way to thank visitors for coming. You only get one first impression.

13. Brag on positive behavior of children to their parents. Everyone likes to hear good reports about their child’s behavior.

14. Take notes of anything you promised or communicated to adults.  Report that to the coordinator or manager who needs to be aware of your conversation. When in doubt communicate. Over communication is better than to under communicate

15. Follow up and just check on situations of conflict. A little PR goes a long way.

Not only is it important to train children to care about others but also our leaders must demonstrate a true heart of care for those we minister to. You’ve heard me say this before, if you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time. Desire it, teach on it, model it and look for ways to put it into action.

 Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!

             

            

Cultivating a Heart that Cares About Others-Part 4

4. Maintain a Christ-like attitude no matter what! (WWJD) Look for the overall good in people. I’ve never understood why people choose to believe the worst about people. Be Positive! Prepare yourself before people start coming. Get your Game face on! Think about why you are here. Get focused. Pay Attention, Be alert to others. Be upbeat and excited.

5.  Think kind thoughts about others (The ministry is all about people)

Think about their good traits. Remember Jesus loves everyone you should too.

6.  Take responsibility for your mistakes. Get in the habit of making “I” statements. Never shift the blame and throw others especially leadership.

Take notes of what you said you would do and do it!

7. Be a good listener. The best way to show you genuinely care about others is to listen to them. Listen for not only what others are saying but also what others are feeling.

8. Look for ways to go beyond what’s expected. Remember Matthew 5:41 “If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” Going the extra mile puts you ahead, it also sets you a part.

9. Use wisdom. Years ago someone taught me that the voice of wisdom and the voice of God are always the same. A true servant does not walk in their own wisdom but in Godly wisdom that comes from God’s Word!

10. Keep communication simple but thorough. Be clear (Don’t use code words or abbreviations. Stick to the point! (just the facts) Be honest, don’t over promise and never under perform

more to come...

Cultivating a Heart that Cares About Others-Part 3

The next step to cultivate a heart that cares about people is to move kids into

Action by letting them be moved by love into doing something.

1John 3:18 says “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.  Hebrews 10:24 goes on to say “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” True love moves us into the action of good deeds, deed that meet needs in others. I think John 3:16 it really the best verse to show that God’s love always moves us into action. For God so loved the world (that’s everybody) that He (did something) He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. If The God kind of love moves Him into action and we need to be like him it should move us into action.

Step three is to develop a plan to involve kids in serving others. Looks for places kids can serve.

1. Have kids help straighten and pick up the classroom after service.

2. Have kids involved in serving their peers by letting them serve as ushers, greeters, sound and media helpers, help with check-in, help on the praise team. Come early to pray before service and let them take the offering.

dve ever had a children’s ministry intern do my daughters have done to help their dad on Saturdays when they were little. I have watched families who look for areas to serve together as a family and when their kids grew up they still looked for places to serve and give back.

We can also put a servant’s heart in the adults we lead by modeling these 15 rules to live by for serving and caring for others.

1.  Treat others the way you want to be treated. Put yourself in their shoes with every decision you make. Desire to be a helpful and make a difference.

2. Smile (even if you don’t like to smile or don’t feel like it) a smile can be contagious. In fact it can start an epidemic. Never forget the joy of the Lord is your strength! So if you want to stay strong watch that joy gage.

3. Greet everyone like they are special because they are! If you had every leader say to all the folks that came to church “I’m glad you came to church today! It would make a huge difference. People of all ages like to hear “I’ve missed you! Where have you been? It is so good to see you!

Cultivating a Heart that Cares About Others-Part 2

The next step to cultivate a heart that cares about people is to move kids into

Action by letting them be moved by love into doing something.

1John 3:18 says “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.  Hebrews 10:24 goes on to say “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” True love moves us into the action of good deeds, deed that meet needs in others. I think John 3:16 it really the best verse to show that God’s love always moves us into action.        For God so loved the world (that’s everybody) that He (did something) He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. If The God kind of love moves Him into action and we need to be like him it should move us into action.

Step three is to develop a plan to involve kids in serving others. Looks for places kids can serve.

1. Have kids help straighten and pick up the classroom after service.

2. Have kids involved in serving their peers by letting them serve as ushers, greeters, sound and media helpers, help with check-in, help on the praise team. Come early to pray before service and let them take the offering.

more to come...

Cultivating a Heart that Cares About Others

Everyone I know wants to be a success. The world’s definition of success is a lot different than God’s definition. God’s Word tells us that we achieve greatness by serving. Mark 10:43-45 says ...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

The more I work with people the more I realize that both children and adults are selfish by nature. None of us have to take a class on how to put ourselves, our wants, and desires before others. We get that on our own just fine. It’s just the opposite we have to work at training both kids and adults to have and demonstrate a servant’s heart.

The only way I know to do this is to be intentional about cultivating a heart in
kids that cares about others. It all starts with giving them the word on the
subject. Proverbs 3:3-4 says “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind
them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win
favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Whatever we want kids to
do we must always start with the word. We build kids’ faith on a subject by
giving them the word on that subject so they can line up their thoughts with
God’s thoughts. Make sure that on a regular basis you teach kids about God’s
love for others. 1Corointhians 16:14 says to “Do everything in love!” In that same
book back in chapter 13 and verse 1 it says “If I speak in the tongues of men and
of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”

You just can’t separate loving God and not loving His people. They go hand in
hand.

more to come...