Why You Should Use Your Conference Money on Infuse

Today I'm honored to have someone I truley believe God has placed in my life. She is more than a student or even a friend. She's like one of my kids. Not only is Jenny Funderburke one of my past infusers she is now one of my coaches and a big part of team Jim.
I hope you'll checkout her blog @ http://jennyfunderburke.com/blog/
I love conferences. I really do. When the opportunity to do the Infuse mentoring group with Jim Wideman, I had a big choice to make.  It wasn't cheap, but I realized that for the money I could spend at a conference (after you add in flight, hotel, conference, food, etc...), I could participate in Infuse.  I made the choice to do Infuse and without a doubt, it was the wisest choice to make.  See, I quickly discovered that the things I loved about conferences were present and much, much better in a coaching environment.  Here's a few:

-  Quality teaching:  Infuse includes group phone calls each month and two retreats which all include concentrated and targeted teaching from Jim Wideman.  But, you aren't learning in a group of 200 or 2000.  He intentionally creates question and answer time and you can email questions in between occasions.  I learned so much about leadership, ministry, volunteers, structure, relationships, priorities, time management and more!  But I also got to ask for advice about specific situations and problems I was facing.

-  Networking:  I love meeting people at conferences, and I had no idea the impact of the relationships I would form through Infuse.  When you meet someone at a conference, you might have lunch or exchange email addresses.  But, through Infuse I was connected for several months to kidmin from all over the country, from all sizes of churches, and from a wide variety of denominations and perspectives.  This opportunity did a couple of things.  First, my eyes were open beyond my own little world.  Hearing what others were doing, their challenges and their successes, was inspiring.  Second, I formed ministry friendships through my group and coaching other groups that I now can't imagine doing ministry without.  In ministry, Spencer Click is like the big brother I never had.  Jen Galley and Sara Richards are constant sources of encouragement.  Sam Luce always has wise and encouraging advice.  Kenny Conley is always ready to tell me what to do. :)  These and many, many others are invaluable friends who celebrate during good times and pray during tough times.  I had no idea how much I needed this community outside of my own church.

-  Resources and new ideas:  Don't you love going to conferences and discovering what all is out there?  During Infuse, I do think I found out about more ideas, resources, and tools that I could really use than I found at conferences.  And I didn't have to go through an exhibit hall.  The difference is that I learned from people who were not selling, but were really using and trying and implementing these resources in their ministries.  When I encountered a problem or needed a resource, I had a wealth of people to ask about what was out there and what their opinions were.  When we began multi-site, I had people that I knew I could call and ask about what to buy and what was out there.  

-  Getting away:  Let's be honest that one thing we enjoy about conferences is that we get to get away.  We can unplug from church world and normal life for a few days.  We can be fully immersed in kidmin for that amount of time.  The two retreats that are part of Infuse provide that.  Lots of good food, laughter, and the opportunity to think kidmin for two days straight gave me the chance to be refreshed and go back to my ministry excited to go forward.

-  Made better at what we do:  Sometimes we go to conferences looking to learn or buy that "magic bullet" that is going to make our ministries better.  In Infuse, we spent months focusing on the small and personal things that we can be better that will in turn make our ministries better.  The benefit to Infuse being more than a three day conference set up is that it is a process.  Through teaching and growing with others, you have the time and opportunity to evaluate yourself, your calling, and your ministry.  And you learn hard things that you've got to do better.  There may not be a "magic bullet", but it is change that sticks because it is change that comes from a process.  

Let me encourage you not to think "I can't do Infuse because it is too expensive".  Consider what you can sacrifice to make it a reality. You may be stuck like i was.  You may need a network of kidmin friends to learn from. You may need the process of determining how you can lead better.  We all need a coach and people speaking into our lives.  I challenge you to find a way to make Infuse happen.  You (and your church) will be glad you did.

Why I Go to Conferences...Revisited

I started to entitle this post “Confessions of a conference junkie!” You see my name is Jim and yes I am a conference-a-holic! This is where I hear you say “Hi Jim!” I’ve been attending conferences a long time, a really long time. Now that I add it up, I’ve been attending some type of conference every year for almost four decades. Big ones, small ones, one day ones, multi-day ones even “come spend a week with us ones” and then if that was not enough I started speaking at conferences in 1980. You would think this would scratch my conference itch but then not only did I keep attending conferences and speaking at conferences I started hosting conferences that only lead me to the hard stuff , organinizing and putting on conferences. Yes you could say I have a serious conference addiction.

            Conferences have played a big part in the formation as well as the success and longevity of my ministry to children.  The first conference or seminar I attended was shortly after being drafted to minister to children, it was a puppet seminar put on by Puppet Productions and it immediately made a huge difference in my ministry. There was something about the experience that just made it easier to grasp the concepts being taught. Seeing what they were presenting in action plus being able to purchase much needed supplies and props was a huge benefit for me. I started seeking out other conferences to attend locally in my city. It didn’t matter to me what denomination or group was putting on the event if I could learn just one thing that I didn’t know before the conference I viewed it as a success. As I started applying what I was learning the next thing I knew others where asking me to come teach what I was learning. The first additional benefit I realized was that not only conferences where a great place to learn they were an even better way to help you connect and network with others who shared similar interests and callings and who where also on a quest of growth and excellence.

          The first national children’s ministry conference I heard about was the Fellowship of Christian Magicians Conference. (It was much more than magic, there were workshops on every type of ministry performance methods to children there where back then) I wanted to attend so badly but my church did not have a conference budget so I remember getting the brochure listing the workshops and workshop speakers and after the event I looked up some of the presenters phone numbers and called them and asked them about their workshops and asked for any notes or cassette recording they had I could get my hands on them. One of the people who took my call and sent me his notes was Dick Gruber. Dick thought I was some” country bumpkin” from the south calling him up asking him to teach me “how to do clown ministry over the telephone.” Not only did I find out what I wanted to learn but it was the start of a wonderful friendship. (32 years later I got to mentor one of Dick's sons in infuse for a year and a half, what a honor!) In fact, most of the dearest and best friends I have on this earth I met at a conference. 

more to come...

A Leader Is A Learner-Part 3

5.   Use your lunches and dinners wisely. A lunch meeting is a great time to put into others. I love to brainstorm over a meal with people I enjoy. I use he drive time to set the tone or agenda and the drive back to recap and make sure people understand the assignments or plan of action.  A dinner meeting is a great way to connect with new people I want to get to know and learn from. Remember the worst they can say is no. Remember it’s not about the food it’s about learning and brain-picking. I’ve even eaten before I go so I can take advantage of this time for me to learn.

6.   Visit other churches.  I love to tour churches where ever I go and when I do I

take lots of pictures. There are several churches I’ve visited more than once and

 every time I’ve gone I’ve pick up different ideas. I love to visit churches with

multiple locations and see what changes they made when they had a chance

 to redo their children’s space. It’s very eye opening to see what others do

 firsthand.  Get outside your church and take a road trip to visit churches with

 creative and unique children’s ministries and see what you can learn.

 7.  Go to conferences. I love to attend conferences for many more reasons than

 just the sessions. I love to hear and see what has worked for others. I like to

 take others along with me to expose them to bigger thinking. A picture is worth

 a thousand words. When others go to conferences that I did not attend I try to

 identify what did they see and learn and learn through them.

8.   Network, surround yourself with peers you respect. Identify the ministry models available and find out what they are presently thinking now. Just because you heard them once doesn’t mean you know what they are thinking and saying today.  I want to know what any other person who has my position is doing and why. Some time know what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. Always be on the lookout to find others who will discuss with you what they are learning. Seek to understand different thinking than your own.

Be a fly on the wall and listen to others as they discuss and network. A few years ago I had the opportunity to have dinner with Sue Miller and Craig Jutilia. It was a wonderful time of learning and growing for me. As we were discussing our ministries I was so proud of all the other children’s pastors who attend that event that had pulled up a chair and were just listening and learning as well.

9. Study successful people. I’m a huge fan of the TV series The Apprentice. I love to watch others lead and be about to learn from them. I also enjoy reading the life stories about successful business people. Those kinds of books are my favorites. I also love to brainstorm or chat with others who also are fans.

10.   Get a leadership coach or hire a consultant to hold you accountable and to make you learn. A view from another perspective can give you a huge advantage. If you interested in coaching be sure and checkout infuse at www.jimwideman.com/infuse.

             How can I make all these things a part of my lifestyle?  The best way I know is to get out your calendar and plan. Set appointments and then do them. We all keep our appointments once we make them. Develop good learning habits and repeat the same action until it becomes reflexive or second nature. Here are some of the places and situations that where I like to read and listen:

The treadmill and other exercise equipment, right before bedtime is another get time to read a little. I try to keep a book or two in the restroom at home and at work. Planes, drive time and even while I wait when I get my haircut or at the doctor also make great places to learn. I even make appointments with myself to study and grow on a regular basis. Remember study and learning doesn’t have to be all at once, do it a little at a time. Expect those around you to learn. I ask all my staff to include on their weekly report-”What have you done for    leadership development

this past week? You can’t expect what you don’t model, so why not make an intentional decision to set the pace and become an example of one who is always learning. It’s up to you to stay fresh and current in your leadership skills and in your thinking. A growing leader is a learner!

Why I Go to Conferences... Part 2 Revisited

I still attend conferences for these same reasons. Number one to learn. Number two to network and meet people and number three to find resources and helps to aid my ministry. But I’ve also learned two more important reasons to attend a conference. The forth reason I attend conferences are that it is good to get away and listen to God. Jim can’t you hear God in your own town. Yes, but there’s some real benefit to leaving the cares and responcibilities of the local church and just get away. It’s really the same benefits of getting kids to get away from their normal lives and go to camp and listen to God. Some of the most important conferences in my life that I attended were not life changing because of the information I learned or received but because of what God confirmed or spoke to my heart. It’s good to get away and listen, to pray to expose yourself to different or new thinking and let God so a work in your heart.

I also attend conferences to be exposed to bigger thinking and vision. I believe that there is nothing more contagious than a God inspired, Spirit lead vision. I’m the type learner that it helps me to see something with my own eyes. It’s easier for me to grasp by seeing than just hearing or reading about it only. Seeing a big vision in action has always helped me to catch the vision. I think that big vision is easier caught than taught and that being exposed to a larger vision than what you presently have and open your eyes to the possibility of “I can do this too!”

         Just a few weeks ago I had the previledge of attending #CPC12 in Orlando. It was one of the best conference experiences I've ever had. Over the next few days I'm going to write about my CPC experiences and some of the highlights. I'm looking forward to being at #CPC12 in San Diego, if you have not made up your mind to go, I hope you will. You still have time to register.

still more to come...

How To Plan A Year

For most of my adult life I have been a attending children’s ministry conferences. Some have accused me of being a conference junkie. That’s okay with me, I’m sure there are worst things that I have also been called. The thing about conferences that I love is that it’s one of the best places on earth for folks to ask questions and receive answers. If you know me at all you know I love questions! At 99.9% of the conferences I’ve attended somewhere during the event there are 3 questions I’m always asked. Number one is how do you recruit volunteers, the other is how do you know when it’s time to leave? The other is “ We are a church of this size, we have this many kids, what should our budget be?” Sound familiar? Maybe you have asked me one of these. I will let my book VOLUNTEERS THAT STICK answer the first one, my resource STAY OR GO can answer the second and the third question I’ll try to answer In this post. 

The simple answer is that there is no secret formula. You see budgets mean different things to different folks. Let’s get on the same page and turn to the word, Luke 14:28 tells us this “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? You see planing must always go before action. A budget without a plan is just a pile of money. The truth is budgets should not be based on church size alone. Budgets are not law just because something made the budget doesn’t mean you can spend it. Budgets are more of a spending guide if the money is there. But not just a random guide or guess but an estimate of the costs of the plan of action based on what you want to see God do in your ministry this coming year. 

This is a process that I start in July of each year. I begin to ask the Lord what He wants for the children and families of the church I serve. I start with prayer and as key leaders in my ministry to do the same then it’s time to dream in God. I also brain storm with my team what they sense God wants to do next year. Brain storming is a wonderful tool but at the end of the day you have to hear from God for where He wants your ministry. As the leader of our Next Generation Ministries I write out what I believe we should be aiming for as a team. I share this with my team and give them the areas I feel are  “thus seethe the Lord” (these are not up for negotiation) the rest of my ideals I ask them to come up with a plan to pull this off. Then I ask them to come up with a plan to pull this off. Here is the formula I teach them to use for this.

It all begins with the end result. At the end of next year what do we believe Jesus wants to do in the hearts and lives of the children and families next year. To effectively do this we have to start with the end in mind and look at trends and percentages presently as well as historically that are a realistic goal for growth. Numerically what are you planning for? Spiritually what are you believing for? How will you achieve these? This is your plan it has to go before anything else. Another important question is how will you evaluate and examine where you are throughout the year?

What will a win look like? If you don’t know this how will you recognize it? Something I learned years ago that changed my life is that If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do what you have never done before. Same action brings same results. In other words if you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time.

I divide my plan of action into four areas of focus. Everything I plan has to come under one of these four. First is Spiritual Development and Program. Second is Student Care and Follow Up. (Why should Jesus give you more kids if you can’t take care of the ones you already have?) Third is Student Leadership Development. The best way I know how to disciple is train children and students to be leaders and last but not least is Adult Leadership Development.  Every thing I do or plan has to fit here. How much we do in each area has to do with where we are as a ministry. You have to identify what the needs of your ministry are in each of these areas. At different times you’ll be at different places in each of these areas. To get the process started I go by my churches annual cycle. If your church doesn’t have an annual cycle this is something you should sit down and develop as a team here’s how our cycle runs. We start with New Years series at the first of the year and plan to get our community talking about what’s happening at our church. Next is Super Bowl. It’s become a national holiday so we use it to rally leverage.

The next event on the calendar is Valentines and we talk about Love. After that comes Spring Break I use this time for outreach and build community and do service. A biggie with us is Easter. We do a community service at a local college and relocate our church.  I use several special guest in almost every age group. Next is  Graduation/year end stuff. Then comes Worker Recruitment and Worker Appreciation now comes Summer. We use the summer to prepare for the fall administratively we also do a VBS alternative plus Camps special Activities and Service projects. Our next big season is the fall with our Promotion Weekend and the Beginning of school. Football is huge here in the south. Then comes Halloween and Christmas. At Christmas we do a big Children’s Choir program plus some special guest events. We also do a big Gift Wrap Outreach to our city. After we come up with our plans around these events using the four areas of focus I sit down with my key leaders and deconflict the plan with other departments within our Next Generation Ministries. What are you looking for?

I watch for too many activities that hit families out of the same pay periods. I also

watch for too many people raising funds at the same time. It’s the same pond and you can’t drain it dry. I also look for ways to piggy-back on what others are doing to maximize the emphasis within the community and the congregation. I think it’s also important to look at you plans in the light of your family. It’s amazing to me when a family church allows for family time I wish more did! I use the early fall to price my plan.
What activities are funded? What activities and programs will the church be reimbursed? What’s raised? What will be given away? Remember our scripture above count the cost. This is where you submit your plan and the price of your plan to the budget folks to get it approved. What if we can’t afford this plan? This is why I do this in early fall so I have time to go back to the drawing board and make the necessary cuts for the big picture. I start by adjusting my goals or what I want to achieve that year. Once the goals are adjusted so is the plan. This action is what adjusts the costs of the plan.

Now I have goals. I have a plan to meet the goals and I’ve been assigned the necessary budget to make that plan reality all before Christmas. Now it’s time to enjoy the holidays and finishing the old plan and budget strong. How you end one thing sets the stage for how you’ll start the next one. 

Once the new year begins work your plan and add feet to it. Just because you have your plan and your budget doesn’t mean you are on easy street. It is your job to

use your faith and trust God for his blessings and provision for your plan. As you go through your church cycle and walk out your plan make sure you evaluate and make adjustments as you walk it out! Cll a time out to make adjustments have a halftime. If your plan is not working or if the funds are not there due to circumstances beyond your control make the necessary adjustment and be the leader God has called you to be. Don’t develop a us verse them attitude. Realize God is in control what’s best for the entire organization is also what’s best for your department as well as for you individual. Before you know it it will be time to repeat the process!

For you who wait to the last minute...

For most of my adult life I have been a attending children’s ministry conferences. Some have accused me of being a conference junkie. That’s okay with me, I’m sure there are worst things that I have also been called. The thing about conferences that I love is that it’s one of the best places on earth for folks to ask questions and receive answers. If you know me at all you know I love questions! At 99.9% of the conferences I’ve attended somewhere during the event there are 3 questions I’m always asked. Number one is how do you recruit volunteers, the other is how do you know when it’s time to leave? The other is “ We are a church of this size, we have this many kids, what should our budget be?” Sound familiar? Maybe you have asked me one of these. I will let my book VOLUNTEERS THAT STICK answer the first one, my resource STAY OR GO can answer the second and the third question I’ll try to answer In this article.

The simple answer is that there is no secret formula. You see budgets mean different things to different folks. Let’s get on the same page and turn to the word, Luke 14:28 tells us this “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? You see planing must always go before action. A budget without a plan is just a pile of money. The truth is budgets should not be based on church size alone. Budgets are not law just because something made the budget doesn’t mean you can spend it. Budgets are more of a spending guide if the money is there. But not just a random guide or guess but an estimate of the costs of the plan of action based on what you want to see God do in your ministry this coming year.

This is a process that I start in July of each year. I begin to ask the Lord what He wants for the children and families of the church I serve. I start with prayer and as key leaders in my ministry to do the same then it’s time to dream in God. I also brain storm with my team what they sense God wants to do next year. Brain storming is a wonderful tool but at the end of the day you have to hear from God for where He wants your ministry. As the leader of our Next Generation Ministries I write out what I believe we should be aiming for as a team. I share this with my team and give them the areas I feel are “thus seethe the Lord” (these are not up for negotiation) the rest of my ideals I ask them to come up with a plan to pull this off. Then I ask them to come up with a plan to pull this off. Here is the formula I teach them to use for this.

It all begins with the end result. At the end of next year what do we believe Jesus wants to do in the hearts and lives of the children and families next year. To effectively do this we have to start with the end in mind and look at trends and percentages presently as well as historically that are a realistic goal for growth. Numerically what are you planning for? Spiritually what are you believing for? How will you achieve these? This is your plan it has to go before anything else. Another important question is how will you evaluate and examine where you are throughout the year?

What will a win look like? If you don’t know this how will you recognize it? Something I learned years ago that changed my life is that If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do what you have never done before. Same action brings same results. In other words if you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time.

I divide my plan of action into four areas of focus. Everything I plan has to come under one of these four. First is Spiritual Development and Program. Second is Student Care and Follow Up. (Why should Jesus give you more kids if you can’t take care of the ones you already have?) Third is Student Leadership Development. The best way I know how to disciple is train children and students to be leaders and last but not least is Adult Leadership Development. Every thing I do or plan has to fit here. How much we do in each area has to do with where we are as a ministry. You have to identify what the needs of your ministry are in each of these areas. At different times you’ll be at different places in each of these areas. To get the process started I go by my churches annual cycle. If your church doesn’t have an annual cycle this is something you should sit down and develop as a team here’s how our cycle runs. We start with New Years series at the first of the year and plan to get our community talking about what’s happening at our church. Next is Super Bowl. It’s become a national holiday so we use it to rally leverage.

The next event on the calendar is Valentines and we talk about Love. After that comes Spring Break I use this time for outreach and build community and do service. A biggie with us is Easter. We do a community service at a local college and relocate our church. I use several special guest in almost every age group. Next is Graduation/year end stuff. Then comes Worker Recruitment and Worker Appreciation now comes Summer. We use the summer to prepare for the fall administratively we also do a VBS alternative plus Camps special Activities and Service projects. Our next big season is the fall with our Promotion Weekend and the Beginning of school. Football is huge here in the south. Then comes Halloween and Christmas. At Christmas we do a big Children’s Choir program plus some special guest events. We also do a big Gift Wrap Outreach to our city. After we come up with our plans around these events using the four areas of focus I sit down with my key leaders and deconflict the plan with other departments within our Next Generation Ministries. What are you looking for?
I watch for too many activities that hit families out of the same pay periods. I also
watch for too many people raising funds at the same time. It’s the same pond and you can’t drain it dry. I also look for ways to piggy-back on what others are doing to maximize the emphasis within the community and the congregation. I think it’s also important to look at you plans in the light of your family. It’s amazing to me when a family church allows for family time I wish more did! I use the early fall to price my plan.
What activities are funded? What activities and programs will the church be reimbursed? What’s raised? What will be given away? Remember our scripture above count the cost. This is where you submit your plan and the price of your plan to the budget folks to get it approved. What if we can’t afford this plan? This is why I do this in early fall so I have time to go back to the drawing board and make the necessary cuts for the big picture. I start by adjusting my goals or what I want to achieve that year. Once the goals are adjusted so is the plan. This action is what adjusts the costs of the plan.

Now I have goals. I have a plan to meet the goals and I’ve been assigned the necessary budget to make that plan reality all before Christmas. Now it’s time to enjoy the holidays and finishing the old plan and budget strong. How you end one thing sets the stage for how you’ll start the next one.

Once the new year begins work your plan and add feet to it. Just because you have your plan and your budget doesn’t mean you are on easy street. It is your job to use your faith and trust God for his blessings and provision for your plan. As you go through your church cycle and walk out your plan make sure you evaluate and make adjustments as you walk it out! Cll a time out to make adjustments have a halftime. If your plan is not working or if the funds are not there due to circumstances beyond your control make the necessary adjustment and be the leader God has called you to be. Don’t develop a us verse them attitude. Realize God is in control what’s best for the entire organization is also what’s best for your department as well as for you individual. Before you know it it will be time to repeat the process!

Here's A little Something for Mom's In The Ministry

Here's a guest post from one of my favorite people, my number one daughter and favorite singer and worship leader- YANCY

What lessons have you learned growing up in ministry that you want to pass on to your child? What advice do you have for other moms in ministry?

I grew up a preacher’s kid. Yeah, yeah, I know often times that is filled with negative connotations but for me it’s been a great thing. As look back on my life I can very gladly and openly say that I had a great life. I had two parents that loved me and did everything in their power to teach, guide and train me in the way I should go. My life as a preacher’s kid was a happy one. I found it filled with many positive opportunities I would have never gotten any other way. I accepted Christ when I was seven and knew from an early age that God had called me to do music. Because of that dream I’ve been working hard at my music for most of my life. Because of what I felt God had called me to do in my life it required me to have a relationship with Him. The church is where I found a place to belong. A place to serve and a place to use my gifts. 

I am now a mom myself. My son, Sparrow, will be two in February. I can’t believe how much time flies. It’s been an amazing and joy-filled almost two years. I am also in ministry. I travel doing family concerts at churches all over the country and throughout the world. I have many different CD’s, DVD’s and devotionals that focus on different ages like preteen and preschool. I train kidmin worship leaders through workshops and articles. I write and produce the music for Standard Publishing’s VBS and help with www.AmberSkyRecords.com. Plus, I serve in my local church on a couple different worship teams.

I can be honest and say most days I feel like I’m at least ten to fifteen “things to dos” behind. Everyday I wake up with the idea that I can accomplish so much in my day only to realize that I am not Super Woman and by the time I do some Mommy things with Sparrow and around the house my work to do list is well, not going to get accomplished like I thought.

So, at this stage in the game as I reflect on the many things my parents did right and follow their model as I parent Sparrow here’s a few things I want to share:

1.    Include your kids. It wasn’t just Dad’s ministry but something we did as a family. Every Saturday I’d go to the church with Dad growing up and help prepare the classrooms and kid’s ministry for Sunday morning. Whether it was straightening chairs, filling buckets of candy, making Visitor packs or many other tasks I was right there in the middle of it and spending time with Dad in the process. When Dad traveled to conferences we’d either all go as a family or take turns going on special trips with Dad. Sparrow travels with me to all my concerts and he loves to play with cables and plug stuff in and he’s awesome at carrying a megaphone. 

2.    Make special focused time for your kids. Time with Mom was many shopping trips. Time with Dad was usually a lunch or dinner. The point is they made special, dedicated time that was about me.  They made me feel important in their world. One of my biggest challenges is stopping to acknowledge Sparrow when I’m in the middle of responding to emails. But I’ve read that if you want your kids to share important stuff with you then you need to not ignore them when they try to talk to you.

3.    Allow your kids to experience, try and fail in protected environments. My parents were super strict with what we watched and listened to when I was young. In our teen years they were great about taking us to the non-Christian concerts we were interested in and allowing us to see the world in a controlled environment. They were with us when we smelled pot or saw people gorging in PDA. It was a controlled environment and we were able to see how ridiculous someone is that’s drunk or living a lifestyle that is not God honoring. In those environments it made us only want to live holy…instead of wondering what the world was like, we saw it with our parents. Even on into making some career choices. My parents helped guide me to seek God and listen to His voice to guide my steps. They let me make the decisions. Great lessons learned at young ages on how listening to God’s voice and doing what He says always pays off.  I want to help Sparrow make Godly choices as he navigates his life. I want Him to learn to hear God’s voice and obey what He says.

4.    My parents blessed us. They didn’t spoil us, but they did bless us. When I was a kid my parents didn’t have much to go around so spoiling wasn’t an option. My Dad is a giver   though and he strived very hard to be loving and giving just like our Heavenly father is. He said He doesn’t’ want to get to Heaven and have God asked why He didn’t do more to help his kids answer the call of God on their life. Even as I write this that is a humbling statement. I am so blessed to have such giving parents that sacrificed so we could take the dance and music lessons we took. They made sure we had great keyboards, guitars, drums, lawyers or whatever was needed for that season. I want to be giving like that to Sparrow. I want to support Him as He dreams the dreams God has for his life. I want to teach him that God provides for all of our needs!

5.    Love God, Hate Sin. Both my parents repeated things over and over to us through the years. Of course, sometimes I rolled my eyes hearing the same stuff again but you know what, it stuck with me. Those things got down in my heart and are here to stay. One of those things was “Love God, Hate Sin.” It’s an old 80’s CCM song by Mylon LeFevre. My Mom signed every birthday card and letter at camp with those four words. It’s kind of funny and I’ve already started signing things to Sparrow the same way. If I can get those four words down in his heart as he makes the wise choice then I think we’ll be off to a good start.

Happy New Year! Many blessings on you, your family and your ministry in 2013.

Learn more about Yancy at www.YancynotNancy.com

Becoming an authentic leader-Part 2

6. Leaders invest in others through coaching. 

Leaders come alongside people and help them get better at what they do. Everyone does better with a coach than they do on their own. A good coach starts with what a player can already do and builds on it. No football coach spends time teaching a quarterback how to tackle. That’s not the quarterback’s job. A wise football coach doesn’t want each player to be equally good at every position. A wise football coach wants to make each player outstanding at whatever position that player fills. There are some fundamentals that everyone needs to know—the rules, how to catch, how to throw. But that’s about it. What do your individual volunteers do well? Do you know? What’s your individualized development plan for each volunteer in your ministry? There’s no shortcut for leaders when it comes to coaching others. You have to do it. Coaching is a powerful way to affirm, challenge, and motivate. If you’re not coaching, you’re not leading. Take time now to write a Development Plan for each of the people who report directly to you in your ministry. Is it easy? No—but good coaching never is.
If you’re coaching well, you’ll hear yourself asking this question as you watch different team members do ministry: “What’s that person doing well? What can I do to help that person improve?” If you’re not asking that question, there’s no way your team will get to the next level. You’ll be missing coaching opportunities.

7. Leaders take appropriate risks.
During my first few years in children’s ministry, back in the 70’s, we didn’t have the money to send me to conferences. I’m glad, because if I’d gone I would have been told what I wanted to do was impossible. You see, we had seven kids in our ministry. (six normal kids and a little boy named Bubba) We wanted more kids. And we wanted kids to understand how our church worked. I asked the Lord what we should do and it seemed clear we were supposed to involve our kids in helps ministries. So in children’s church we plugged kids in as deacons, and we got kids involved in service. Pretty soon we had more than 300 kids and I was asked to speak at those conferences I hadn’t attended. So I showed up and made my little presentation and there were all sorts of confused faces. It turned out that there is no way what we’d done was supposed to work and people were lined up to let me know it. But I went home and sure enough—there it was. Working. I’m so glad I listened to the Lord instead of the “thus sayeth the Seminar Speaker.” Was what we did risky? If we’d done it on our own, yes. But since we were following the direction of the Lord, absolutely not. Leaders take calculated risks—and when the Lord tells you to do something that’s not a risk at all. If you’re following God’s leading, your ministry will increase and flourish. The risk that tends to pay off in the most spectacular fashion is when you bet on people. By that I mean you find and train leaders in your ministry and you give them permission to run with the vision. When you’re taking risks it means you’ll try things you’ve never tried. You’ll do things differently. You’ll blaze trails, and take chances. Now and then you’ll go with your gut instead of your intellect. What risks are you taking?

8. Leaders bear fruit and grow spiritually.
Leaders carry more responsibility than followers, and face greater challenges. They have to handle extra stress, extra work, and make do with less than they sometimes they wish they had. Those aren’t ideal conditions for growing. If you want to experience growth and bear fruit while you’re a leader, I suggest you eliminate three poisons that tend to creep into leaders’ lives. They are:
Envy

Those of us who minister to children can experience envy with the best of them. We look at our budget and compare it to what the youth ministry gets. We notice we’re spending more hours at the church than the Senior Pastor, and wonder why we’re not cashing a larger paycheck every Friday. We size up how much influence we have when it’s time to remodel the church building compared to the rest of the staff. And this isn’t just a twinge of jealousy we feel. Jealousy means I want what you have. Envy means I want you to lose what you have so I can have it. And if there’s just so much influence and money to go around, then you’ve got to lose some of yours so I can have it. It’s envy—and it’s poison. When we envy what others have we undermine teamwork. We don’t step up and provide help. We let others go down in flames at board meetings so we look better—and we can increase our influence.
Has envy crept into your life or ministry?

Strife and quarreling
I know children’s workers who speak poorly of their fellow staff members. They gossip and backbite. They talk to lots of people, but never to the person they’re talking about.
The day you hear yourself talking about “us” and “them” when you’re referring to other members of your church, you’re in trouble. There is no “us” and “them”—there’s just “us.” We’re one body so we’ve got to get along. Like it or not, you’re working along side of other staff members at your church. Resolve conflicts, don’t gossip or harbor your anger.
Are you quarreling with other leaders? Experiencing strife?

Division
How you work alongside—and for—other leaders is a hallmark of your leadership. Have you taken conflicts that should have stayed behind closed doors and shared them with others? Always be on the lookout for division. How can you repair any divisiveness you’ve created?

9. Leaders don’t worry about comparisons.
Unless you’re one of the Apostles that Jesus sent out to carry the gospel, you’re not the first leader your church people have ever seen. People aren’t in the church long before they realize that pastors come and go. And it seems you’re always following one that people liked better than you. Don’t worry about comparisons. You can’t talk your way out of them by pointing out the shortcomings of the person who was on staff before you. You have to do something that helps folks see you for who you are, even if you’re different than your predecessor.
And if someone can get past the past, you can establish your leadership where you are. Give it some time, take some action, and let God work through you. With whom are you comparing yourself? What’s the result? What if you could just put the comparisons aside?

10. Leaders are life long learners.
In many professions there’s a requirement for Continuing Education Units. If you’re a doctor or a nurse and you quit learning, sooner or later your license to practice medicine will be taken away from you. I wish we had something like that in children’s ministry. Children’s ministry, as a field, has way too many know-it-alls in it. People who I’d like to buy for what they’re worth and sell them for what they think they’re worth. People who hit on a successful idea and they’ve never grown past it. The fact is you don’t know it all. I know I don’t. And the people we lead in our children’s ministries are certain we don’t. We’ve all got things to learn, and if you’re not leading the way in learning you can’t expect the people you direct to keep learning and growing either. By “learning” I don’t necessarily mean attending classes or accumulating additional degrees. The place to start is to find a mentor—someone who’s wiser and more experienced than you—and to go ask questions. And to listen to the answers and the questions that come back at you.

Working with a mentor is worth its weight in gold. You’ll not only learn something, but you’ll become teachable. And that’s right where you need to stay.
Read books and blogs. Listen to CD’s and podcasts. Go to workshops and conferences. Find people who know about the things you need to learn and go ask questions. And be sure you talk about what you’re learning to your volunteers. Your example sets a standard: it’s okay to admit you don’t know it all, and it’s good to go find out what you need to know.

My mother taught me this: experience is the best teacher—but it doesn’t have to be your experience.

I visit other churches and learn from their experience. There’s not a big church in my area that I haven’t been in at least once, nosing around to discover what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.

Leaders are life-long learners. What have you learned lately? 

Why I Go to Conferences... Part 5-#CPC12 Orlando continued

The final day of #CPC12 started early again with some of my wonderful infusers helping me get set up for another busy day of teaching and helping others. My first workshop turned into my favorite of all the ones I taught. It was entitled "We're All In This Together- 10 things I do to network, lead, and learn from others." I enjoyed this on I believe I'm going to re-teach it on the my next theClub lesson in February. (Remember you can download theClub monthly audio leadership lessons free if you are under 30.) My next workshop is one of my life messages "How To Be A Problem Solver." This is one of my favorite teachings to teach.  With all my sessions behind me I still was not completely done, another new feature of #CPC12 was the Networking Lunches. I sat with a table full of leaders and let them pick my brain over lunch. My infusers also maned several tables. Isat there until people were all questioned out. I then headed over to the Kidmin Genius Bar. (Which I never made it to yesterday) When the exibit area shut down Julie and I ran to do a little shopping at the outlet mall then we headed back for the last session of helping folks at the Genius Bar. My good friend Jonathan Cliff and INCM board member came over and hung out and helped folks at the Genius Bar. The time flew by and the next thing I knew it was time to pack up and say goodbye to everyone.  I only had a few boxes to ship back to Nashville so the Kidmo Guys let me put them on their truck. Saturday we got up early and flew home. The plane was full of #CPC attendees all of us had one thing in common we were served by the staff of INCM and had a wonderful time and learned a ton. I am looking so forward to #CPC San Diego. You still have time to register.

I'll be speaking at 9 more conferences this year then I'm going to take a break from conferences in 2013 and only do infuse. I hope to see you at one or more of these remaining training events. For a complete list, click on this link.

Why I Go to Conferences... Part 3-#CPC12 Orlando

#CPC12 in Orlando was my first conference to be a part of in the New Year. I was so excited to be a part of this year's event. Michael Chandley and the staff of INCM had really worked hard making some changes to the event. When a friend asks for your help this old country boy isn't going to turn them down. I'm not sure how many CPC's I've attended. I've attended more than I've missed since 1980. I've seen a lot of changes over the years! some of the changes I've seen has not thrilled me but the changes I saw in action @ #CPC12 were the best I've ever seen. I love the new look, the new website, the phone app and more but one of my favorite changes were the launching of the 5 Inititiatives of INCM...  The five initiatives are meant to identify bright spots in the church worth replicating. They are a starting point for beginning to set an international standard for Children’s Ministry. Obviously, no one person or group can fix everything that is broken in kidmin, however the INCM is encouraging all of us in children's ministry to work together to focus on key issues that will make a lasting impact. Here they are:

1. Impart God’s truth to this generation

2. Provide a safe and relevant environment
3. Communicate with families
4. Network with a community of leaders
5. Pray for the international children’s ministry community.

My #CPC12 experience started on a high the day before we were to leave for #CPC my favorite team the ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE won it's 14th College Football National Championship. After that big game and trying to prepare for my workshops I found myself up all night. I couldn't sleep.  The next morning we loaded the car and headed to the airport. Julie, Whitney, Yancy, Cory & Sparrow were going in a day early so we could play at Disney before we went to work.


Wednesday morning we set up our booth spaces as well as the KIDMIN GENIUS BAR. The Genius Bar was an idea I came up with @ the KIDMIN EXPO that my good friend Roger Fields hosted in Lexington. Chandley saw it and wanted me to do it at #CPC. This was a co-venture of CPC & Jim Wideman Ministries. Several past and present infusers volunteered their time to come down and offer free advice and help to all the attendees.  It was hard to set up for all the people coming by to say hi. One of my favorite things about CPC is it's like a giant KIDMIN family reunion.  As soon as the exhibit area opened the Genius Bar was busy. (Another set of infusers are coming out to #CPC12 San Diego to help me help KIDMIN folks there.)
We talked and prayed with folks until the exhibit area closed. I was ready for bed because I had a big day ahead of me on Thursday. But if I went home right now what I learned from networking, and spending time with old and new #KIDMIN friends would have been worth my trip so far!


more to come...                                                                  

for more about #CPC12 checkout this great recap video

Why I Go to Conferences... Part 7...D6 Days

Sometimes I go to conferences but sometimes I let conferences come to me. Years ago when I would attend a conference I always bought the tapes so I could experience the learning over and over as well as share it with others at home. Now-a-days there are so many ways to learn you don't have to just listen you can also see it again and again. One of the events I'm excited about being a part of this September is the D6 Conference. The good news is you don't have to wait until September! On February 21st D6 will come to you by presenting the 1st of 3 D6 days.

They've invited Brian Hayes, Michelle Anthony, Kurt Bruner and few other and a few other family ministry enthusiasts to give live, fresh content just for this event. They also are streaming full length past D6 Conference sessions from Doug Fields, Darren Whitehead, Rob Rienow, Fred Stoeker, Richard Ross, Jay Strother, and others! On top of that, they’re also giving away over 15 MP3s from some of their most talked about previous conference labs. All free!

There are three different D6 Days in 2012: February 21, April 17, and July 24. D6 Days content will be available for up to two weeks after the listed dates. For more details check out this website.

Inside The Eric Trap- Part 2

The next author who wrote about Eric's second trap was Deana Hayes. Deana is now the Family Pastor at Light and Life Church in Avon, IN. Deana is one of my favorite infusers, she's really quiet but she's always thinking and asks great questions. She wrote about "Leadership Under Authority" Here's just a little bit of what she added to THE ERIC TRAP...


I remember the first day on the job like it was yesterday. I strolled into the church building not really knowing what to expect. The senior pastor greeted me with some warm and welcoming words, and then he escorted me to my office and asked that I meet with him in his office in a few minutes. The first thing I noticed was that my office had windows, a supposed luxury in the world of kidmin, so I knew things were already off to a good start. After setting some personal things down and again admiring the view from my window, I strolled down the hall to meet with my senior pastor. We went over the typical personnel and administrative stuff—those fun yet necessary tax and insurance forms. And afterward, he sent me to my office to begin my job.

I was so excited to get things going in children’s ministry at this church. I was the first children’s pastor my church had ever hired. It was a new venture, and I was eager to do a great job. Isn’t that what we all desire—to be the best at what we do? We attend school and conferences, and we network with others to be the best at our job. We dream of new and better programs that will reach more and more kids. We seek to acquire the newest tools and resources so that we can be the best (not in a conceited way, of course). We’re passionate about what we’ve been called to do, and we can quickly become absorbed in this huge and complex world of our vision for ministry. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Well, did I have a lot to learn.!

Having a huge vision for children’s ministry isn’t wrong. Actually, it’s essential. But one of the biggest and most important things I have learned is the importance of knowing the vision of the house and submitting to my senior or lead pastor. To submit means to yield oneself to the will or authority of another. More personally, to submit as a children’s pastor means to know my senior pastor’s heart. Where is God leading him for the congregation in which we both serve? It is crucial to our personal well being as well as the success of our church to know that vision. Mark 3:24-26 NIV says, “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come.”

Naturally, as children’s pastors, we may wonder, how exactly do I serve my senior leader? or why do I put his calling before my own? Well the why is an easy one to answer. The relationship between a senior pastor and his associate pastors is often the key to the health and ministry of a church. Although we may have been hired because of our vision the for the children's ministry and our stated expectation is to lead the children's ministry, our top priority must always be to assist the pastor in his vision for the church. Period.

I have often heard children’s ministers argue, “But I went to school to serve the local church as the children’s pastor,” or “I was hired as the children’s pastor; therefore, my job is to lead and oversee the ministry to children, so what does getting to know the vision of the house or serving my senior pastor have do with my key responsibilities?”

Well, everything!

When the local church hires a person to oversee any area of ministry, what they are actually doing is hiring an associate to the pastor. The church is hiring an associate pastor who will assist the senior pastor in moving the church to accomplish the vision God gave him for that particular church. Once on staff, the senior pastor will delegate authority to the associate in overseeing and leading a ministry in a specific area. In our cases, that specific area happens to be a vibrant ministry to children. Therefore, it is not your ministry; it’s but an extension of the ministries offered by your local churches. Let me say that again. It is not YOUR ministry. Sometimes I think that we get that confused. Plainly said, we you have been entrusted to lead that area of ministry in the way it should go in line with the vision of the house. Our work should reflect highly on our senior pastors. Remember, we were hired to serve our senior pastor and his vision for the church, not the other way around.

Why did I have to learn this the hard way? I got to the point where I wanted the church to grow so badly that I was very eager to do something, anything, to move it forward. I failed to listen to my senior pastor. I did not honor him, nor did I extend the respect that he deserved as an ordained man of God. I had my own ideas of what could be done, and I knew they were great ideas.

Don’t get me wrong, having a desire, in and of itself, to grow and move a church is not wrong, but the way we try to see it through may have its faults. We must be careful in how we build and direct the ministry we’ve been given authority to lead. Building a ministry to children that teaches, encourages, challenges, strengthens, and leads children to the throne of grace for our own success is wrong. Reaching out to equip families, encourage moms, and develop dads in spite of what your our leadership has asked you us to do is failure. The ends never justify the means. In all that we do, we must build our ministry to children in a way that aligns with and reflects the vision of the house.

It is so easy to sit in our offices and totally get lost within our own ministry. Praying for, planning, and dreaming of what to do next are consuming. We wonder, how can we can improve our safety and security system in a way that gives parents more confidence? What tools can we seek or develop to better train and equip our staff? Which conferences should we attend to grow in both faith and skills, learn from great communicators, and network with other like--minded pastors?

As a children’s minister, there’s always more to do than we’ll have time for. There’s more to think about than weyou’ll have time to actually think about it. There’s nothing wrong with all of these things, right? This is what we were hired to do, isn’t it?


Stop. Get up from your desk. Walk out of your office, and go join a co-worker in his or her office. Ask him or her about plans he or she has for the ministry he or she has authority to lead. Probe deeper. Ask questions. How does what this person is talking about intersect with the children’s ministry? How can you help him or her be successful? How can he or she help you to be successful? Are you both headed in the same direction, following the vision your pastor laid out for your church?

We have a tendency to isolate ourselves in our own world and ministry, and we forget our place. We’re on a team. We’re working together. We are working for our senior pastor. We must not forget this.

Want to read the rest? Order your copy of THE ERIC TRAP today!
You can buy the book on my site, or Amazon. It's also available for the Kindle.

I'm also going to be giving away some free Ebook copies... to be eligible to win leave a comment and then retweet my tweets about THE ERIC TRAP from now through the weekend.
Have fun!

I'm Excited About the Kidmin Conference This Week-Part 3

 I still attend conferences for these same reasons. Number one to learn. I've made a list of what I want to learn from others at the kidmin conference. I've already set up several appointments and meals.

Number two to network and meet people and number three to find resources and helps to aid my ministry. There are a few people I have never met that I'm wanting to meet, there are some other 'young guns' I want to get to know better. There are also some other dear friends I can't wait to get to spend time with. In fact if I'm not teaching you'll find me in the store or the networking lounge.

 But I’ve also learned two more important reasons to attend a conference. The forth reason I attend conferences are that it is good to get away and listen to God. Jim can’t you hear God in your own town. Yes, but there’s some real benefit to leaving the cares and responcibilities of the local church and just get away. It’s really the same benefits of getting kids to get away from their normal lives and go to camp and listen to God. Some of the most important conferences in my life that I attended were not life changing because of the information I learned or received but because of what God confirmed or spoke to my heart. It’s good to get away and listen, to pray to expose yourself to different or new thinking and let God so a work in your heart. I am expecting God to speak to me and reveal some things to me I am expecting to learn.

How about you? What are you wanting to learn? Who do you want to meet and learn from? Are you excited about getting away and hearing from God? 

Why are you excited about Group's #Kidmin11 Conference?