Wanting God's Best For Your Children- Part 2

So with my previous post in mind, here are 7 steps for use to pass on to parents how to desire God’s best for the inhabitants of their homes.


1. Establish who’s the king of the castl

Joshua 24:15 says “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose
for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

What does this look like for your family? (It’s more than attending church once or twice a week! It’s getting involved on a daily basis. Every educator knows that the students whose parents are involved in their education do better! What changes need to happen for Jesus to be the king of your home.


2. Parents set the example…(it starts with you!) The church cannot do this for you. The church has it’s part to play.

Deuteronomy 6:6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Be an example of living the scriptures. Be an example of serving, going to church. Let your children see you praying, speaking the word, and needing the Lord!

3. You home should be a place of learning God things!

Deuteronomy 6: 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

t’s our job to take back the time you have with your children. This calls for consistent, intentional actions, Watch out for mix signals and too many voices in your home.

4. Keep your marriage strong. If you’re not married, keep your relationships pure. INCLUDE JESUS IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP!

Establish house rules that line up with scripture-

Ephesians 4:32 is a great place to start…Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

A second is…Don’t let the sun go down on an agreement.

Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 

Remember it’s your job to model love /true love, to your children!

5. Be willing to parent each of your children differently…

This doesn’t sound fair… All kids are not the same…

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

That way is different for each child. Be willing to let some things go… (Major on the majors…, minor on the minors…) Your child may never make an A in Biology…
They make not ever make their bed automatically without being told. But they need to love the Lord with all their heart, and all their soul, and all their mind. (This was number one at the Wideman house over anything else!)

6. Have fun as a family.

Laugh together, sing together, play together, read together, eat together, pray together! Invite God in the middle of all good times!

Proverbs 17:22 (MSG) “A cheerful disposition is good for your health; 
 gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.


7. Make church, small group, youth group, and serving a priority…

 Hebrews 10:25 (CEB) Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near.

A great habit to develop is as soon as you get home…talk about what your learning as a family!

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS, It’s never too late to prioritize and create a plan to help the families that you serve and the children at your house to desire a deeper relationship to Christ and to truly love the Lord with ALL their heart and ALL their mind and ALL their strength!

Wanting God's Best For Your Children

Psalm 112:1-8 (NIV) tells us…”Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, 
who finds great delight in his commands. 2 His children will be mighty in the land; 
the generation of the upright will be blessed…
6 Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. 
7 He will have no fear of bad news; 
 his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. 
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear; 
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

This is hard to walk out as a parent let alone lead other parents to walk this out for their families. The world can be a cruel place, it can be an unsure place. This is our time but they are hard and troubling times for the church.

 A large percentage of Americans believe it will get worst before it gets better. When you look at what’s happening in the news, on TV and even in the church it’s pretty scarey out there but it’s times like these that makes us ask the big question, do you really believe and practice what you teach and preach? As for me… I BELIEVE THE BIBLE!...

            John 16:33 tells us “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Man that’s good news for busy Children’s leaders. Families need God’s peace not just his plenty!

 Also in Proverbs 14:26 it tells us…He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. This is what the homes of us in the church should be. A secure fortress for our children. Is what you are doing for families in your church doing this? That’s a great question to use as we evaluate our programs

Home should be a place of comfort, a place of safety, a place of refuge. A place where those who lead it, get to control what happens…  that also means They are responsible for the behaviors and outcomes of those who live there!

God’s Plan has always been the same…

            Deuteronomy 4:9-10 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 10 Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Remember yourselves & teach the children. Every feast and every holiday was the same. I have had a blast this year telling my Grandson the God story of our family. I am going back though our lives and bringing him up to date with all that God has done for us. I will retell him those stories every opportunity I have, as long as I’m alive for two main reasons. So I can remember myself and so I can pass it on to Sparrow. God’s done some amazing things in Widemanville and I believe with all my heart the best is yet to come!

            Deuteronomy 6: 1-8 says “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

It is amazing to me that parents want better for there children than they have had in every area of LIFE but one. We want them to have more opportunities financially, educationally, and socially. We want them to have a better marriage, drive a better car, wear nicer clothes, live in a better house, and the list could go on forever. But when it comes to spiritual things we don’t want them to go overboard…

We’re happy if they turn out just as spiritual as us. As long as they are not bad….VERY FEW PARENTS HAVE A VISION OF THEIR CHILDREN TO BE SPIRITUAL DYNAMOS! It’s not the same priority and desire we have for them in other areas.

29 TIMES THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT WE SHOULD LOVE THE LORD- WITH ALL OUR HEART, ALL OUR SOUL & ALL OUR STRENGTH!.- That’s our goal!

More to come...

What Is Family Ministry

What is Family Ministry? That's a great question... What an honor to be a part of this blog tour… 

God’s plan to reach the world has always included the family. It doesn’t surprise me that the family and the church are under such attack. I’m glad we’re waking up, I just hope we repent and change our actions in time! In the early days of the modern Children’s Ministry Movement (1970’s) it would have ready helped if we had read our Bible. Most of us were telling parents, “Go to church and give us your kids.” I now see without the church and family working together our kids will suffer. Two powers working together are stronger than either one on their own. To me family ministry is just helping the family want God’s best for their children at every age.

Psalm 112:1-8 (NIV) tells us…”Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, 
who finds great delight in his commands. 2 His children will be mighty in the land; 
the generation of the upright will be blessed…
6 Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. 
7 He will have no fear of bad news; 
 his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. 
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear; 
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes. This is hard to walk out as a parent let alone lead other parents to walk this out for their families. The world can be a cruel place, it can be an unsure place. This is our time but they are hard and troubling times for the church.

A large percentage of Americans believe it will get worst before it gets better. When you look at what’s happening in the news, on TV and even in the church it’s pretty scary out there but it’s times like these that makes us ask the big question, do you really believe and practice what you teach and preach? As for me… I BELIEVE THE BIBLE!... John 16:33 tells us “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Man that’s good news for busy Children’s and Youth leaders. Families need God’s peace not just his plenty!

Also in Proverbs 14:26 it tells us…He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. This is what the homes of us in the church should be. A secure fortress for our children. Is what you are doing for families in your church doing this? That’s a great question to use as we evaluate our programs.

Home should be a place of comfort, a place of safety, a place of refuge. A place where those who lead it, get to control what happens… that also means They are responsible for the behaviors and outcomes of those who live there!

God’s Plan has always been the same…

Deuteronomy 4:9-10 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. 10 Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Remember yourselves & teach the children. Every feast and every holiday was the same. I have had a blast this year telling my Grandson the God story of our family. I am going back though our lives and bringing him up to date with all that God has done for us. I will retell him those stories every opportunity I have, as long as I’m alive for two main reasons. So I can remember myself and so I can pass it on to Sparrow. God’s done some amazing things in Widemanville and I believe with all my heart the best is yet to come!

Deuteronomy 6: 1-8 says “These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

It is amazing to me that parents want better for there children than they have had in every area of LIFE but one. We want them to have more opportunities financially, educationally, and socially. We want them to have a better marriage, drive a better car, wear nicer clothes, live in a better house, and the list could go on forever. But when it comes to spiritual things we don’t want them to go overboard…

We’re happy if they turn out just as spiritual as us. As long as they are not bad….VERY FEW PARENTS HAVE A VISION OF THEIR CHILDREN TO BE SPIRITUAL DYNAMOS! It’s not the same priority and desire we have for them in other areas. 29 TIMES THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT WE SHOULD LOVE THE LORD- WITH ALL OUR HEART, ALL OUR SOUL & ALL OUR STRENGTH!.- That’s our goal!

So with that in mind, here are 7 steps for us to pass on to parents how to desire God’s best for the inhabitants of their homes and practice practical family ministry.

1. Establish who’s the king of the castle! Joshua 24:15 says “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” 

What does this look like for your family? (It’s more than attending church once or

twice a week! It’s getting involved on a daily basis. Every educator knows that the

students whose parents are involved in their education do better! What changes need to happen for Jesus to be the king of your home. 

2. Parents set the example…(it starts with you!) The church cannot do this for you. The

church has it’s part to play. Deuteronomy 6:6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Be an example of living the scriptures. Be an example of serving, going to church. Let your children see you praying, speaking the word, and needing the Lord! 

3. You home should be a place of learning God things! Deuteronomy 6: 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. It’s our job to take back the time you have with your children. This calls for consistent,intentional actions, Watch out for mix signals and too many voices in your home. 

4. Keep your marriage strong. If you’re not married, keep your relationships pure. 

INCLUDE JESUS IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP! Establish house rules that line up with scripture- Ephesians 4:32 is a great place to start…Be kind to one another,

tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. 

A second is…Don’t let the sun go down on an argument. Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 

Remember it’s your job to model love /true love, to your children! 

5. Be willing to parent each of your children differently… 

This doesn’t sound fair… All kids are not the same… Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. That way is different for each child. Be willing to let some things go… (Major on the majors…, minor on the minors…) 

Your child may never make an A in Biology… They make not ever make their bed automatically without being told. But they need to love the Lord with all their heart, and all their soul, and all their mind. (This was number one at the Wideman house over anything else!) 

6. Have fun as a family. Laugh together, sing together, play together, read together, eat together, pray together! Invite God in the middle of all good times! Proverbs 17:22 (MSG) “A cheerful disposition is good for your health; 
 gloom and doom leave you bone-tired. 

7. Make church, small group, youth group, & serving a priority… Hebrews 10:25 (CEB) Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near. 

A great habit to develop is as soon as you get home…talk about what your learning 

as a family! 

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS, It’s never too late to prioritize and create a plan to help the families that you serve and the children at your house to desire a deeper relationship to Christ and to truly love the Lord with ALL their heart and ALL their mind and ALL their strength! Family ministry to me starts at your house and the homes of all believers, it’s fueled and encouraged by the church and spreads to the world to reach people who make up families so all can know Christ.

More Things People Are Saying About Infuse...

“I would do infuse every year if I could, and there would still be more to learn and people to meet. I made some great friends, and that is what I benefit most from today. If you can’t do the whole Infuse experience, try the one month version. You can get just as much as the full version if you put in the effort to ask questions and build relationships. Bro Jim makes leadership tools so accessible to anyone that has a desire to learn and you will love this opportunity!”

Mycal Rosales

Children's Pastor

The Church at South Las Vegas

"When I think of infuse I picture a person in the doctor's office, hooked up to an IV.  The person might be in serious trouble, or simply a bit dehydrated.  Whatever the case, he or she needs a boost.  This is exactly what Infuse is - a boost.  There are people in ministry who are barely holding on, and others who just need a shot in the arm to take it to the next level.  Whatever the case, the input that the infuse experience provides, when applied, is the catalyst to unlocking  potential and bringing life and ministry into focus.  It is hard to put a price tag on that type of infusion."

Jon Warneke

New Life Christian Center

"Before I attended Infuse, I felt like I was "stuck" in my ministry. There were days when I wasn't sure what to focus on or what was most important. Infuse and Jim Wideman helped me to take my leadership to the next level."

Susan Hughes
Volunteer Coordinator/PCC Kids Director
Powhatan Community Church

This August I'm accepting 25 people to be a part of a month long coaching and mentoring experience. I'm calling this opportunity "INFUSE-LITE" For lest than what a 3 day event will cost you you get a month of coaching from me and my team of coaches. You get the same personality assessments for you, your spouse and your pastor or supervisor.

You'll also receive a matrix that shows you how to understand and communicate with both your spouse and your leader. You'll also receive a matrix on how to communicate with me, the other coaches as well as each member of infuse.

During the month of August you'll be able to ask questions and participate in assignments and discussions on a special online forum on cmconnect.org. During our month of coaching there will be a special 2 hr conference call. Then on August 30 & 31 you'll get to participate in a special 2 day retreat. Want more? Stay over the weekend and shadow me over the weekend at my church.

After attending INFUSE-LITE if you sign up for INFUSE 7 (September 1, 2013- February 28, 2014 you'll receive an additional $200 discount.

I've spent a lot of years attending, speaking and hosting conferences they are great for networking and to hear about tips, resources and what others do.

INFUSE is more than a conference it's about developing a relationship with others who will be a part of your life forever. An iron sharpening iron relationship. You'll still hear about stuff, but you'll also learn by seeing first hand. You'll be able to ask questions until you fully understand how to walk out what you want to learn. You'll have the accountability you need to walkout what you desire to know. My coaches and I will do more than speak into your life to help you we'll walk beside you and pull out of you what you want to be.

You have 1 month left to get in your application.July 1st will be the official cutoff or until we reach 25 participants. For all the details and to download an application look here. If you still have questions ask them here or send me an email. Infuse 6 for September 2012-March 2013 is full so this is your last chance to be infused until 2013.

.

I don't know everything but everything I know I'm willing to teach you. Let's walk together in INFUSE.

Inside The Eric Trap- Part 2

The next author who wrote about Eric's second trap was Deana Hayes. Deana is now the Family Pastor at Light and Life Church in Avon, IN. Deana is one of my favorite infusers, she's really quiet but she's always thinking and asks great questions. She wrote about "Leadership Under Authority" Here's just a little bit of what she added to THE ERIC TRAP...


I remember the first day on the job like it was yesterday. I strolled into the church building not really knowing what to expect. The senior pastor greeted me with some warm and welcoming words, and then he escorted me to my office and asked that I meet with him in his office in a few minutes. The first thing I noticed was that my office had windows, a supposed luxury in the world of kidmin, so I knew things were already off to a good start. After setting some personal things down and again admiring the view from my window, I strolled down the hall to meet with my senior pastor. We went over the typical personnel and administrative stuff—those fun yet necessary tax and insurance forms. And afterward, he sent me to my office to begin my job.

I was so excited to get things going in children’s ministry at this church. I was the first children’s pastor my church had ever hired. It was a new venture, and I was eager to do a great job. Isn’t that what we all desire—to be the best at what we do? We attend school and conferences, and we network with others to be the best at our job. We dream of new and better programs that will reach more and more kids. We seek to acquire the newest tools and resources so that we can be the best (not in a conceited way, of course). We’re passionate about what we’ve been called to do, and we can quickly become absorbed in this huge and complex world of our vision for ministry. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Well, did I have a lot to learn.!

Having a huge vision for children’s ministry isn’t wrong. Actually, it’s essential. But one of the biggest and most important things I have learned is the importance of knowing the vision of the house and submitting to my senior or lead pastor. To submit means to yield oneself to the will or authority of another. More personally, to submit as a children’s pastor means to know my senior pastor’s heart. Where is God leading him for the congregation in which we both serve? It is crucial to our personal well being as well as the success of our church to know that vision. Mark 3:24-26 NIV says, “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come.”

Naturally, as children’s pastors, we may wonder, how exactly do I serve my senior leader? or why do I put his calling before my own? Well the why is an easy one to answer. The relationship between a senior pastor and his associate pastors is often the key to the health and ministry of a church. Although we may have been hired because of our vision the for the children's ministry and our stated expectation is to lead the children's ministry, our top priority must always be to assist the pastor in his vision for the church. Period.

I have often heard children’s ministers argue, “But I went to school to serve the local church as the children’s pastor,” or “I was hired as the children’s pastor; therefore, my job is to lead and oversee the ministry to children, so what does getting to know the vision of the house or serving my senior pastor have do with my key responsibilities?”

Well, everything!

When the local church hires a person to oversee any area of ministry, what they are actually doing is hiring an associate to the pastor. The church is hiring an associate pastor who will assist the senior pastor in moving the church to accomplish the vision God gave him for that particular church. Once on staff, the senior pastor will delegate authority to the associate in overseeing and leading a ministry in a specific area. In our cases, that specific area happens to be a vibrant ministry to children. Therefore, it is not your ministry; it’s but an extension of the ministries offered by your local churches. Let me say that again. It is not YOUR ministry. Sometimes I think that we get that confused. Plainly said, we you have been entrusted to lead that area of ministry in the way it should go in line with the vision of the house. Our work should reflect highly on our senior pastors. Remember, we were hired to serve our senior pastor and his vision for the church, not the other way around.

Why did I have to learn this the hard way? I got to the point where I wanted the church to grow so badly that I was very eager to do something, anything, to move it forward. I failed to listen to my senior pastor. I did not honor him, nor did I extend the respect that he deserved as an ordained man of God. I had my own ideas of what could be done, and I knew they were great ideas.

Don’t get me wrong, having a desire, in and of itself, to grow and move a church is not wrong, but the way we try to see it through may have its faults. We must be careful in how we build and direct the ministry we’ve been given authority to lead. Building a ministry to children that teaches, encourages, challenges, strengthens, and leads children to the throne of grace for our own success is wrong. Reaching out to equip families, encourage moms, and develop dads in spite of what your our leadership has asked you us to do is failure. The ends never justify the means. In all that we do, we must build our ministry to children in a way that aligns with and reflects the vision of the house.

It is so easy to sit in our offices and totally get lost within our own ministry. Praying for, planning, and dreaming of what to do next are consuming. We wonder, how can we can improve our safety and security system in a way that gives parents more confidence? What tools can we seek or develop to better train and equip our staff? Which conferences should we attend to grow in both faith and skills, learn from great communicators, and network with other like--minded pastors?

As a children’s minister, there’s always more to do than we’ll have time for. There’s more to think about than weyou’ll have time to actually think about it. There’s nothing wrong with all of these things, right? This is what we were hired to do, isn’t it?


Stop. Get up from your desk. Walk out of your office, and go join a co-worker in his or her office. Ask him or her about plans he or she has for the ministry he or she has authority to lead. Probe deeper. Ask questions. How does what this person is talking about intersect with the children’s ministry? How can you help him or her be successful? How can he or she help you to be successful? Are you both headed in the same direction, following the vision your pastor laid out for your church?

We have a tendency to isolate ourselves in our own world and ministry, and we forget our place. We’re on a team. We’re working together. We are working for our senior pastor. We must not forget this.

Want to read the rest? Order your copy of THE ERIC TRAP today!
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Have fun!